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Getting Gay Marriage the Old-Fashioned Way — Earning It

September 22, 2005 by admin

In a post last week, Bruce linked a gem of the witty (and often wise) PrismWarden, Tell Me Lies and I’ll Love You Forever, a piece on the difference between gay conservative and gay liberals. Last night, he published a follow-up post, Adolescence Revisted: Part One — Earn It.
In his piece, Robbie puts forward a theory one similar to that I had spelled out in many of my posts on gay marriage, but takes this argument in a direction that might upset many advocates of gay marriage. He says that we need to earn marriage:

Gay liberals want gay marriage right now. They don’t particularly care how they get it, just so long as they get it. When they don’t get it, they tend to throw temper tantrums of enormous proportions. Gay conservatives, on the other hand, realize the importance of how we get it. We know we cannot simply demand it and have it granted through the beatific wave of the magical judicial wand. We must argue for it, persuade for it, and convince others of why we must have it. The method is just as important, if not more so, as the final result.

Some will contend, “But straight people didn’t need to make such arguments for marriage!” Straight marriage (one man to one woman) existed as institution long before the United States came into being, indeed, long before the idea of a constitutional republic was even discussed.
The notion of gay marriage, of two individuals living together in a lifelong monogamous relationship, is a relatively novel idea. Sure, some cultures have recognized such institutions. In the United States, however, until recently, even the staunchest gay rights’ advocates didn’t consider it.
As this blog has done, Robbie looks at the backlash against court-sanctioned gay marriage, noting the numbers of states which have passed “protection of marriage” laws and constitutional amendments. At the same time, too many advocates of gay marriage belittle opponents as “bigoted,” “narrow-minded” or “anti-gay” without taking the time to understand their arguments.
It’s important that, as Robbie puts it, through “ardent, but respectful engagement of the issue,” we make our case. And I will also add, as I’ve said before, we need to talk about marriage as a sacred institution and make clear that we do not just see this as a right to which we are entitled, but a privilege for which we are willing to work. That we understand the obligations of matrimony and are committed to living up to them just as heterosexual couples have done for millennia.
And now that I’ve whet your appetite for Robbie’s post, read the whole thing!
-Dan (AKA GayPatriotWest): GayPatriotWest@aol.com

Filed Under: Blogging, Gay Marriage, Gay Politics

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